Examples of Emotional & Verbal Abuse

  • Dictates where partner can go, when they can go, and who they can go with
  • Frequently humiliates, ridicules, criticizes, and/or mocks their partner
  • Calls partner names in public and/or private spaces
  • Makes partner feel ashamed, stupid, worthless, or crazy
  • Makes partner feel like they are “walking on eggshells” 
  • Acts extremely jealous/accuses partner of flirting or cheating on them
  • Uses words and/or non-verbal communication (such as gestures or certain looks) to make their partner feel intimidated, unsafe and/or afraid 
  • Uses the silent treatment and/or withholds affection
  • Constantly criticizes/finds faults with their partner
  • Blames partner for everything that goes wrong (sometimes including the abuse itself)
  • Works to actively isolate partner from friends, family and community, making it difficult to see friends and family
  • Makes partner feel guilty spending time with people other than their partner and children
  • Threatens to get sole custody of the children or otherwise take the children away
  • Throws or breaks objects, punches walls, kicks doors or does other things intended to frighten partner
  • Deliberately makes partner late or unable to get to work, appointments, meetings, children’s activities or other commitments
  • Continually harasses partner with texts, calls, e-mails or other messages
  • Demands immediate response to calls/messages regardless of where their partner is or what they are doing
  • Destroys partner’s property (particularly items that have sentimental or other value)
  • Threatens to report partner to immigration officials if the person is vulnerable to deportation
  • Insists on accompanying partner to medical and other appointments (and possibly speaks for partner when that person is asked questions) 
  • Threatens to harm themselves if their partner leaves/tells partner they can’t live without them
  • Tells partner they are nothing without them
  • Tells partner they are lucky to be in this relationship and that no one else will want them
  • Threatens to physically harm partner, children, or pets
  • Insists partner does all housework and childcare-related tasks
  • Threatens to leave if their demands are not met and their rules are not followed
  • Encourages children to be disrespectful or otherwise abusive to partner
  • Disrespects or mistreats partner in front of children
  • Tells partner that they may try to leave the relationship, but will never get away
  • Acts loving and apologetic after episodes of verbal or physical abuse in order to keep their partner hopeful that things are going to get better 
  • Uses profanity or other vulgar/upsetting language in a disrespectful or harmful way
  • Lies, breaks promises, betrays trust
  • Plays mind games, rewrites history (sometimes called gaslighting) to suit own purposes
  • Makes light of or minimizes their own abusive behavior