How To Be A Friend To Someone Experiencing Dating Abuse

 

• Don’t ignore signs of controlling or abusive behavior. Talk to your friend and let them know you are concerned.
• Support, don’t judge.  Avoid asking questions that start with “why,” as those questions can feel blaming or shaming.
• Point out your friend’s strengths. Many people who are being mistreated by their partner hear a lot about what they do wrong.  You can remind your friend of some of the many reasons you admire and like them.
• Remember that many people who behave in controlling or abusive ways tell their partner where they can go and who they can hang out with.  Be patient with your friend if they frequently cancel plans at the last minute, don’t respond to texts or calls, or stop accepting invitations to hang out. 
• Encourage your friend to confide in a trusted adult. Offer to go with your friend if they would like additional support.
• Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim’s partner. Don’t try to mediate or otherwise get involved directly.
• If you witness an assault or suspect abuse, talk to a trusted adult.
• Supporting someone you are concerned about can be very stressful.  Remember to take care of yourself, too!

**For more comprehensive information about healthy relationships, dating abuse, safety planning (including navigating social media) and other related issues, we highly suggest visiting Love is Respect.**